Typical questions that come with combining finances.
The business name says it all. Combined Finances shows couples how to manage money as one unit. There are no secret accounts, no hidden funds. Income from either spouse is just income. Expenses from either spouse are just expenses (more on personal spending later). There is a singularity when spouses combine their finances that can be challenging at times. Working together and having systems in place to manage your money as a team is crucial. Here are some problem areas you may face and how to approach them:
1. Can I spend more since I make more?
Yikes, if you’ve been on either side of this argument, you know how real this can feel sometimes. If you were single, yes you can adjust your spending based on your income, but that’s not typically how marriage works. There is usually one partner that makes more money, and sometimes even only one partner brings in any income. That doesn’t give more value or decision weight. There can be manipulation with this one if you aren’t intentional in your partnership. Spending should still be agreed on 50/50 no matter the ratio for income.
2. If we share all of our money, how can I surprise my spouse?
I feel like this one is used way too often when defending the need for separate accounts. One, all gifts within your marriage should still be in the budget and discussed. Sure that can take some spontaneity away, but you both have equal partnership in this marriage and you both need to agree on spending, even on gifts for each other. There are countless ways to still surprise each other even knowing the cost. Use cash, buy a gift card and then make the purchase, ask a family member or friend to make the purchase and send them the money via Venmo or cash app, etc. Those commercials with someone having a car outside in a red bow on Christmas morning as a total surprise is not realistic. A purchase that large should never be a surprise.
3. What if my spouse spends all our money?
Okay, I hear you. This can be such a frightening experience and totally valid reason. But that statement is more abour the trust in your marriage than just a money conversation. There are very real addictions and issues that cause impulsive spending. Unless there is history with this issue in your marriage, don’t let the worry prevent you from going all in. If you have both agreed to a certain spending amount in the budget and one spouse continually spends more without consulting beforehand, there can be boundaries set in place for a time to get you both back on track. There may be a season where one spouse is limited to using cash but it’s all about being self aware and wanting to grow together. If you know you have trouble overspending it’s better to own up to that and try different solutions than keep denying the issue. There’s no shame in needing to implement certain boundaries for a season.
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There is just something to be said about going all in and combining finances with your spouse. And I do say spouse because this should only be done if you are legally married. There are more legal protections and finances should not be combined before then. Marriage is all about partnership and coming together as an equal unit. When you are able to make financial decisions together as a team, and see income and expenses from one bucket versus keeping money separate, you are able to go so much farther together. Goals are met quicker when you both contribute. The built-in accountability with your partner can also help make wiser financial decisions and limit emotional impulse spending. Going all in is a continual practice and ,while it can be scary, is worth it.
